Once everything was under control I asked Ida to show me her car. It was a fourteen year old Plymouth and I asked her for the keys. There wasn’t even a faint click when I turned the ignition switch which told me that the battery was stone dead. I raised the hood and the problem was obvious. The negative battery cable was so corroded that it had split in half and the cable was lying on top of the battery, but not connected to it.I carry a small tool kit in my truck so it was no problem to remove the cable, run to NAPA, get a new cable and install it. Once I had the car running I told Ida I had to leave and get myself a motel room and when she asked why I told her about my wife’s gift to me. She told me I could stay at her place. The couch folded out into a bed and I could stay there until I got an apartment. She said she would throw in dinner so I accepted her offer.The next day I left work early and met the man from the court at the house. I rang the doorbell and when the wife opened. ’ The guys who were online were making fun of her, ‘Ohhh, I’ve got a big one here for u’, and saying derogatory things like, ‘bet she has crabs’. I broke into the conversation and said, ‘maybe you would attract more guys if you said it differently.’ She didn’t respond; so I went on. ‘Seeing all these big strong guys in GC makes me feel aroused. I’m so lonely in the big bed all by myself.’ Of course my words began having the affect she desired, but guys started whispering to me instead of her. I went on, ‘You need to say things like, kiss the back of my neck. Whisper in my ear and be ready to catch me as my knees melt.’ One fellow replied, ‘I’m so horny’. ‘I have a huge dong’, was a whisper that I just ignored. There was one whisper that literally sent a shiver down my spine. All he said in the first whisper was, ‘Kisses the lady’s hand’, but I was lost. I just said, ’Well hello’ back but then he went on, ‘Kiss the back of your neck gently’. I don’t need to tell you I was.
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